Approaching Girls with Confidence
February 21, 2012 by Chris Miller
Filed under Dating
The biggest obstacle to the approach is the feeling of being overwhelmed. This kind of fear will undoubtedly show in your actions and words. The anxiety becomes unbearable when you think of cool things to say but nothing comes out. There is also no assurance that the girl will be interested in you. You have no idea how to behave if she doesn’t react to your flirting and if you run out of cool things to say.
The expression for this powerlessness to approach ladies is approach anxiety. Healing this is tricky because you’re bound to feel this every time you approach girls. Even the veteran players still feel this around girls, believe it or not. You cannot eliminate approach anxiety completely, but you can discover how to cope even though you still feel jumpy when approaching ladies.
Allow me to share some suggestions.
1. Assume an Open Body Language
There are lots of people around in a club. When you get there, you do not know anybody so you sit alone with your drink. Don’t spend too much time drinking alone and circulate around the bar as soon as you can. In a crowded nightclub, people are expected to mingle. People are there to mingle, whether they went there with friends or alone.
Ladies are looking at you. Your actions are being observed. If you stay in one place alone, you’ll give the impression that you are anti-social. Nobody wants to be around a guy who is obviously drowning in his sorrows. You can start meeting girls by being open to social interaction. Be more approachable even when everybody around is a stranger.
2. Eye Contact
It’s easy enough to make eye contact with a girl. The hard part is knowing what to do once you have made eye contact with a woman. A girl would either give you a passive look or a responsive look. A passive look is when you accidentally make eye contact with somebody. A passive look does not ask for a response. In the case of a reactive look, your eyes convey your desire to approach a girl. Unless a girl is too stoned to notice, she will reply with a look back or she will disregard you deliberately. You may use eye contact as a lure to catch the attention of the woman.
Eye contact will also give you an opportunity to measure the other person’s self confidence. If she looks away and acts awkward, it means that she’s shy. If you perceive that she’s more shy than you thought, you may feel less anxious about approaching her. This would tell you that ladies also feel flustered in this kind of situation.
3. Grin
At the proper intensity, eye contact can make a girl go red in the face. The emotion of being stared at with a meaningful stare can be overwhelming. Smiling just before you break the eye contact can soften the intensity of your look. A smile can inform her that you want to chat. By smiling, you are letting her know that you plan to approach her.
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